Welcome to New York. Allow me to introduce you to my favorite dive bar.

NYC can be a funny place to party. Whilst wining and dining out-of-towners on business, it seems apropos to show them the beat of the city. The rooftop bars, the nightlight swimming pools, the red ropes, the "dope shit" if you will. And yet, when fully immersed in this realm, I am never fully satisfied. Someone is always looking at you kinda funny. There is always a line just a little too long. A drink just a little too weak, or too expensive. A waitress trying a little too hard, or a doorman just a tad too aloof. Are these the factors that define kewl?

We all live on the same planet, no?
Don't we all eat, piss, and padoodle on similar ceramic comfort stations?
Is there a reason why we feel this inherent need to take guests to places we never frequent?
Is there a bottle of Skyy vodka that truly is worth $350 buckaroos just to have the honor of sitting at a crappy-ass carpeted-seat-stained table?

Don't get me wrong, there is definitely something luxurious about a visit to the Standard Hotel's Boom Boom Room. A 360° view of Manhattan in all it's gorgeous nighttime glory. At the very least go for the bathroom. Try to focus on the task at hand, and not space out at the amazing view, the High Line, the people walking below, or your own reflection blurred within the Empire State building's spire.

I guess my major issue is that the places we think ought to impress people, are often the places that totally blow. So, next time you have guests in town and you decide to show them a good time, how about you bring them to your local haunts? The divey dive bars, the little pizza joints, the subway (that's always a sure fire way to give them the real NYC experience), your local bodega, the fruit stand man, and of course, Duane Reade (no one outside the city understands the "Doo-ah-nay Ray-ah-day" way).

Onwards and upwards fellow hosts!