Ever snitch on someone and try really really hard to convince yourself and everyone else that you're not really a nark? Tonight, that's me.
I spend Wednesday nights volunteering at a cat shelter in the city. It's tiring, sweaty, and at times it's fairly trying work. But, I do get pleasure from knowing that I am helping an organization who needs helping - that I am building positive relationships with cats that don't have permanent homes or a human family - and I feel like I am building up my karma points. ;)
Tonight I had to work with someone who rubbed me every wrong possible way. If I had to pick "Cindy's All Star team of volunteers" this person would be the very last person on the bench. In fact, I'd rather forgo her position all together. We'd probably be stronger in the end.
I didn't realize until this evening (as I composed and recomposed, edited and re-edited an email to my supervisor), what a total stickler for rules I have become. I always thought I was a pretty go-with-the-flow type of person. But tonight I have discovered my straight-and-narrow side. Not only that, but I also discovered that I can be slightly suspicious/paranoid when it comes to narking.
As I sat here writing out my dissertation on everything this other woman did wrong, I began to wonder if she was testing me and my boss was actually in on it. I am assuming here, that the people directly involved with humanitarian efforts and compassion are also conniving & scheming to fuck with me. Great theory, Cindy.
I guess it's never too late to learn something new about yourself. Lesson learned.
