Desperately Seeking Thanksgiving

Generally speaking, I would rather gouge my right eye out than travel on Thanksgiving weekend. Add to that equation a trip to Port Authority to pack into a PeterPan bus, and you've got yourself one helluva doozy.

On the contrary, spending Thanksgiving alone in my cozy apartment in Brooklyn, with a pizza pie, a bottle of wine, and my cats (although normally would sound lovely) just will not do. Not when I can perfectly picture the hubbub in Aunt Nancy's kitchen, the sound of kids playing, the dog tap-dancing under the stove waiting for a bit of grub to hit the floor, and the sounds of football fans and wine being corked. Not to mention the savory smells of roasting goodies, gravy, and apple pie.

So, it is on behalf of loved ones, fall skies, stuffed bellies, empty bottles, a round of pass-the-trash, loosened belts, roaring fireplaces, endless piles of dishes, laughter, hugs, and the giving of thanks, that I make this horribly long and painful trek to Massachusetts to celebrate and share Thanksgiving with my family. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

The times, they are a changin...

Occupy Wall Street is in full swing - Bloomberg is catching hell for sweeping out the protesters and power washing the cement, then changing the rules of how people can collectively demonstrate their freedom to assemble and speak. 

Meanwhile, a pilot of a Chautauqua Airlines flight from North Carolina to LaGuardia, NYC, became trapped in the lavatory, mid-air, and was unable to open the flimsy airline door and escape from the blue-latrine-water odor back to the safety of the cockpit. A foreign passenger who attempted to assist the stuck pilot by communicating the problem to the co-pilot, was ignored, and instead was reported to air control command at LaGuardia as "someone with a thick foreign accent [who] is trying to access the cockpit", which prompted air control to order an emergency landing. Luckily, the pilot barged his way out of the latrine and back to the cockpit where he confirmed that there was no emergency. The man with the scary foreign accent was indeed just a passenger trying to help.

Sometimes I have to wonder...what is this world coming to? And also...can we please change things before it's too late?

What I Learned in Texas (or: What the South Taught Me About the North)

If I am lucky enough, once a year I get to venture down below the Mason-Dixon line, and westward into the middle of the big-ass state of Texas (pronounced ˈte.has). What brings me there is work; but I gladly go for the pleasure. Being a native northerner (pronounced 'naw.then.ah) with snow in my blood, I immediately start to sweat just by booking my flight. Somehow these two distinctively opposite places both hold real estate in my heart, so I decided to break them down by important factors: Public Transportation, Food, Bar Scene, Weather, and Scenery. Check out how they did:

1. Public Transportation





© Peter Tsai Photography

• Texas cab drivers don't know where to go, don't like taking credit cards, smoke inside, and give you lip for giving directions without saying "Hi!" first. It is also common to have an inebriated driver, who goes the wrong direction on one-way streets. Not to mention, that you have to call the cab service ("Yellow Taxi") and sometimes wait up to 45 minutes for them to show up. 
• NYC Taxi drivers rock. You can hail them on any corner in the city, pay the fare listed on the fare box, rarely have to give directions, and can swipe your card in the back seat. Oh yeah - and there's the NYC Transit system too. 24-hours a day, 365 days a year. You can almost always get from Point A to Point B without ever leaving the system. All for $2.25.
• WINNER: NYC
  
  
2.  Food

• If you are a meat eater in TX, you are most likely going to be very happy. Steaks as big as your head; bacon on and in everything; and salads that are more meat than veggies. Should you be a vegetarian like me, you might as well consider yourself screwed. Plan on eating lots and lots of cheese. And chips. And more cheese. And while you're at it, go by some Dulcolax.
• In NYC, any and all kinds of diets can be found. Only raw foods? Veggies? Cannot handle swallowing anything other than sushi? Vegan fast food? Breakfast-all-day? Whatever you want - you got it. Any time. Any day.
• WINNER: NYC
  
  
  
  
3. The Bar Scene

• This one is easy. In Texas beers are $3.75. Plus there are usually cute cowboy types slinging pool sticks and drinking whiskey.
• In NYC, you're lucky to get a pint for $6.00. And people will generally not speak to you unless you are introduced by a friend.
• WINNER: TEXAS
  
4. Weather

• Hot, Hot, Hot! If it's too hot for me in October in Texas, there is no way I could handle July there. I have absolutely no desire to live in a sauna 365 days a year.
• In New York...well, honestly...I don't need to debate this one. (Plus, we have four seasons!)
• WINNER: NYC
  
  
  
5. Scenery

• A Texan landscape (albeit flat) can still give you very pretty vistas. Texas is dusty, warm, has large open plains, cowboys, bulls, wild horses, bright blue skies, and tons and tons of stars in the night sky.
  
  

• NYC is the exact opposite. No plains. No stars (astronomically speaking). The only horses you will see are being worked in Central Park on the pavement (or under an NYPD cop). Instead you will find hugely tall buildings, lots of bridges, the Atlantic Ocean, every walk of life, tons of dressed dogs, a blur of yellow cabs on every street, every ethnicity and race under the sun, and brilliant sunset backdrops behind an iconic cityscape.
• WINNER: It's a tie. They're both unbelievably beautiful in their own ways.

All in all, it appears that the big NYC beat out the even bigger Texas. Do you agree? Are there any categories I should have included?